The Point of No Return

Losing weight was so much easier when I was younger. Oh how I miss my kick-ass metabolism. I got to thinking about this whole life style change process and the fears behind it that fuel me (and others) to keep doing this day in and day out. I've been reading in many of my other "get fit bloggers," talking with others about fears of life style changes and the point of no return that set the wheels of healthiness in motion. As I've learned over the past few months there is a fine line between point of no return and obsession. The point of no return has become my new obsession. How does one not obsess over calories consumed, calories burned, miles walked, steps taken, strides per minute, number of fruit and veggies consumed, good choices versus bad...the list is endless. While my new obsession maybe a healthy one, it can become unhealthy. Right now I can honestly say I'm bordering a healthy yet unhealthy obsession with the healthy life style change.

I can say without a shadow of a doubt that my point of no return was the horrid scary number that I saw on the scale, and not to mention that I was pre-diabetic...two things that put the fear of God in me (or that 5th grade nun I had as a teacher in elementary school). I know that pounds aren't going to melt off over night no matter how hard I work out, nor will any amount over 8 glasses of water help speed the need to rid calories, but why can't I stop thinking about pushing myself even harder than I am. Is it the competitive side of me vs. me coming out? Is it the "number" I'm focusing on too much? I'm seriously trying to wrap my shrinking head around it, and all the while still trying to keep my eye on the prize (which by the way is NOT a Reese's PB Egg...). Some days are harder than others I will admit, but who doesn't have days when someone in the office doesn't bring in those sugary delights with holes in the middle of them. Who doesn't have days when they are faced with a chocolate mousse shooter from Applebee's and feels the pressure that "well I had a under 550 calorie meal and everyone else can, why can't I?"

At the end of the day it's how you react to "unhealthy" situations and turn them into manageable healthy situations. It's OK to have things in moderation and to have a cheat day, because with out them you are more likely to rob a 7-11, or ransack the Easter candy aisle. Even though a "cheat day" is such a light bulb concept, why do I still feel bad doing it! It's like getting caught stealing condiments from a fast food joint. As one of my fellow fit bloggers Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit said this whole process is mental, and if we can get that under control, the power of weight loss is ours (btw, check his mind games to ponder on successfully dropping some lbs!).

READERS...What is your "point of no return?" How do you stay focused and motivated in your journey to a healthier lifestyle?

Break-ups to Make-ups

Well me and my current love interest, the Treadmill, decided to take a break from each other for a few days. I think he was feeling that I wasn't giving it all that I had, and I felt he was pushing me too hard. So we took a couple days to get our bearings back, think things through, and we both realized, in the words of Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock that "it takes two to make a thing go right...it takes two to make it out of site." Honestly, I'm glad we are back together...he brings the best out of me, and though some days I love to hate him and his calories per hour, he pushes me on word and up word at an incline of 7.0%, in the end he has my best interest at heart (literally). I'm happy to say that I've reached one of my goals...that is I can walk a mile in 17 minutes at a 3.5 mph.

GIRL SCOUT COOKIES ARE THE DEVIL

Not only do I have to be worried about being attacked by Reese's Eggs, Peeps and the Cadbury Bunny, but I have to see those cute little girl scouts with puppy dog eyes asking me to buy their devilishly good treats so they can win a iPod at the front of the grocery store. My neighbor informed me to stay away from the grocery store because they were representing...in numbers...of cookies and brownies that is. All last week that's all I had visions of dancing in my head was boxes of Somoas, Peanut Butter Patties and Thin Mints. You'll be happy to know that I didn't fall trap to the sad puppy dog eyes and the delectably coconut and chocolate drizzled delicacies. I plan on trying to devise a plan to get into the grocery store by a secret co-op mission that doesn't include walking by that table. If I do me and some Shortbreads will Do-Si-Do.

SUBLIMINAL FORTUNES...what does it all mean?

On Sunday, I was paying for my Saturday night of fun at the Irish American Club of the East Side of Cleveland. Saturday night alone I blew my work out on Saturday...but it was well worth it. Then on Sunday I paid the price for the Irish fun I had on Saturday. On Sunday, I decided I'd get some Chinese food. I haven't had this for like a year...and well to be honest, Sunday's are hard days for me. Sunday's are usually spent with family, and since I live about 4.5 hours away from mine, I usually spend my Sundays doing miscellaneous things and working out. Any who, I digress...when I got back to the Mansion I decided to see what my fortune was, and over the past few weeks I've had a lot to think about and reevaluate in different aspects of my life ... but what this tiny high-fructose cookie had in store was definitely a subliminal message (that about 8,000 other people probably got too) and that was "Believe it can be done." I know it's foolish to look for answers in fortune cookies, and not that this was an answer I was looking for, but more something I needed to see and be reminded of. For all those reading going through hard times or needing that extra push just remember "Believe it can be done!"

SHAKE WHAT YOUR MAMA GAVE YA

Songs to make part of your next work-out routine:

La Roux - Bulletproof (Foamo Dubstep Remix)

Lady GaGa feat. Beyonce - Telephone (Crooker's Remix)
Ludacris - Bad Chick

Black Eyed Peas - Rock that Body

T.I. - I'm Back

Jay-Z - On to the Next

Three-Six-Mafia feat. Sean Kingston - Feel It

Pitbull feat. Akon - Shut it Down

Flo ri da feat. Nelly Furtado - Jump

What songs do you listen to to get that workout going?

The Weekend

I had a kick ass weekend and can't believe it is already coming to an end. I hate Mondays. I never despise Mondays more than I do now. I don't know if it's because I'm getting older and I know I have PLENTY of Mondays left in my working life, or if it's the 9 a.m. meetings I have every Monday, or if it's the fact that I have to face that wretched bitch of a scale to see what havoc ended up on my thighs from the oh sweet treats from Lil Italy. But none the less I'm already coming on with a case of the Mondays.

Lets reminisce for a minute shall we? I had one of the best weekends ever so far for 2010. One of my bestys came in town, and we had a ball. It was nice to have a little piece of home for a couple days I must say. Friday night we chilled at the Mansion, ordered pizza and caught up over the past couple of weeks. Saturday we got up, ate some diet pop cake (recipe and review below) and got ready. We did what every girl on a girl's weekend must do...we got beautified. We decided to go over to Regency Beauty Institute and get our nails and brows done. As always nothing but shenanigans ensued as we had supervised students training in cosmetology working on our precious piggies. Overall I had a great experience, and not to mention we were helping out someone in their dream of becoming the next Sheer Genius. Heightened levels of fear began to overcome us as we were getting closer to the brow portion of our Regency experience. But we were relieved to find out that a certified educator of cosmetology was going to shape our brows. Watch out ANTM...we are back...and the runway ain't ready for this! Grrrr...

After spending 2 hours at the beauty institute we mozied on down to Coventry for an early supper at Winking Lizard, followed by drooling at all the delectable pastries in Lil Italy. Then we headed to Beachwood Mall for a little shopping with our final stop at Harry Buffalo for a night cap. It was really nice to have a piece of home for the weekend. I haven't been back to Cincinnati since the end of December. You never realize how much you miss and appreciate your hometown until you've been away from it for some time.

Sunday I decided to get out and enjoy the nice weather with a five mile walk around Painesville and snap some pictures of some of the crown jewels of the town. I was never a picture person up until this year, and I might as well as submit for my paparazzi license. Hopefully over the course of this year I can save for a really sweet ass camera like they use for National Geographic pictures.

DIET POP CAKE REVIEW

As most of you know, I decided to make diet pop cake. You are probably wondering what is in diet pop cake...hence diet pop. All you do is buy cake mix, your choice of diet pop, and fat free cool whip for icing and wha la! Diet pop cake! I used devil's food cake mix and Diet Pepsi. Some recipes say you can use an egg white to help hold the cake together more, but that's optional. I how ever did use an egg white. At first I was pretty skeptical about how this would turn out...seriously, diet pop and cake mix? The verdict...deliciously moist and fluffy! You could taste a hint of the Diet Pepsi, but it wasn't over powering, and the cool whip made a nice frosting! I do advise that if you are making this, it won't last more than a day. The cake did start to dry out after we cut into it. I think the next one I make will be something fruity and I will deck the top out with strawberries for a light, cool springy treat. Nutritional info...roughly 180 calories a slice and under 5 grams of fat!

MARCH GOALS

I probably should start posting my monthly goals on here...I should probably keep them on a piece of paper and cross them off.

Goal 1: Lost 20 pounds for a total weight lose of 50 pounds. I know this is going to be somewhat ambitious, but my goal is to be down another 20 before I visit home in April. Which means I have to lose about 4 to 5 pounds over the course of the next 5 weeks.

Goal 2: Increase veggie and fruit intake by one a day. This will be a huge challenge. I eat a fair enough veggies and fruits during the week but I could really amp that up a bit. My goal this week is to eat at least 5 salads...in the long run, this might be a bad idea...

Goal 3: Step up to Level 2 of the 30 Day Shred. I've gotten so use to Level 1 that I fear what Level 2 will have me do. Level 1 was no walk in the park, but I'm getting into my groove with it. My goal is to alternate Level 1 and 2 every other day. Lord, pass the icy hot...

Goal 4: Take a new class. I've been tossing around the idea of doing kickboxing over the last month. I inquired with a couple karate places. I think I need to start mixing it up some because my attention span is starting to shorten.

Goal 5: Finish Mindless Eating book. I'm terrible when it comes to finishing reading books. I'm bound and determined to finish reading this book. So far it's kept my attention span for 63 pages.

I think five goals is enough to start with. I'm sure I will be adding to this list as the month goes on.

Food...Now and Then

Over at Allison's blog Doublechinned, she was discussing foods she use to love and foods she now loves. I thought this was a good idea, so I stole her post idea that she stole from someone else.

FIVE FOODS I USE TO LOVE

Doritos - who could resist that crunch...those zesty flavors...and all that...powdered cheese! I must admit...I had a love affair with a triangle...not that kind people...the Doritos kind. Alas, our love has faded into a mere memory. I'm not sad about it...but I'm sure the manufacturer probably is.

Carbonated, caffeinated beverages - I use to start everyday out with a bottle of regular pop. The thought of it now makes my teeth (and kidneys) hurt. I once read that if you replace one 12 oz sugared beverage a day with water you trim 50,000+ calories a year from your diet. I'm lucky if I even drink one diet soda a week...or month now. Empty calories say what?

Fast food - meals of champions, especially when you work crazy hours and are always on the go. I probably use to eat fast food at least two to three times a week. The thought of it makes me want to grab an Activia! I'm not saying I've totally given this up, but I probably only have fast food once a month if that and that's usually if I'm hitting' the road back to the nasti 'nati. My old staples of chicken nuggets and fries are now replaced with grilled chicken wraps and side salads.

Bread - I don't discriminate, I regulate...especially when it came to the carbs. Oh bread...how I loved thee, let me count the ways...garlic, toasted, buttered and jammed...

Ice cream - I think if I was ever reincarnated into anything it would be a connoisseur of ice cream. I would have to say out of the entire realm of all things that are sweetness this is my weakness. Nothing beats a two scoop raspberry chocolate chip dish from Graeters, or a Cookies and Cream chocolate milkshake from UDF. As the hot summer months approach one thing other than staying cool is on my mind...and that's staying cool in moderation!

FIVE FOODS I NOW LOVE

Veggies - who would ever have thunk that soy beans would taste so good? Not me. I remember when my grandmother use to make me eat asparagus...it wasn't going to move off my plate and the only reaction she was going to get out of me was a gag as I tried to force every stalk down. Now I can't get enough of veggies!

Crystal Light - I use to never like this stuff. I use to think it tasted like a lame version of Kool-Aid. I must say, Crystal Light has made some tantalizing changes to their array of powdered 5 calorie goodness and I no longer keep anything BUT this in the Mansion.

Boca burgers - some might consider this a mystery meatless item, but I heart them! Veggie burgers have come a long way, and now with an array of flavors they are better than ever. Viva la Boca burgers!

English Muffins - how can one resist the nooks and crannies? It makes me feel British just thinking about them! Even though they are smaller (and just as filling as two slices of bread), I've started replacing sliced bread with 100 calorie English Muffins. Not only are you cutting carbs, but calories!

Smoothies - I can't live with out my smoothies! Smoothies make great meal supplements when you're in a jam, or trying to get in your fruits and veggies for the day. Smoothies, smoothies all the way!

Wednesday Morning Breakfast...brought to you by VitaTops

I know you are all anxious to hear how my Deep Chocolate VitaTop breakfast went. At first I was a bit skeptical of this so called delicious vitamin treat...

On first bite I wasn't thrilled. It reminded me of something that my grandmother made me eat at one time or another...you know that "health" food that is suppose to taste bad for you good but it just taste...healthy... and the undertones of oat bran and fiber are more prevalent than the so called "chocolate" goodness that awaits...
Then the more I made my way into the center of the VitaTop I finally got to the chocolate morsels and it hit me why they call this DEEP CHOCOLATE!

Overall...WHO'S THE PHAT GIRL APPROVED! First bite wasn't that great but once you get past the outside the chocolaty center makes up for it. Maybe I will give the other flavors a chance.

DAAAAMMMMMMNNNN!

Tonight is the first time, in a LOOOONNNNGGGG time that I walked past the mirror and said "DAMN GIRL!" I lost 2 more pounds since last Wednesday making the total to 35 (which I can't believe even after THIS past weekend...USA! USA!). If I can lose 2 more this week I will be a happy camper and right on track to be down 50 by the time I go home to Cincy to visit in April. I've also joined the Reading Rainbow club and now have a library card. Honestly, I haven't had a library card since like the summer of '84 (OK more like 2002). I'm in the midst of reading Mindless Eating and it has opened me up the world of how I use to eat and how easy it is to mindless eat in certain situation. I'm looking forward to getting my psychology food science on.



I plan on getting before and after pictures up this week. Oye vey...before and after pictures. I cringe at the thought, but it's good to see progress. It will be a good reminder of how far I've come in this journey to beat obesity! I just sounded like Oprah...



JEANS...AND NOT THE ONES MY MAMA GAVE ME

So as I observe the world that turns...or the world that doesn't turn as fast as it so happens that the quake rocked the earth so hard it's off it's axis ... I often wonder why plus size clothes makers want to put plus size women in the most obnoxious patterns ever. The last time I checked plus size women need trendy clothing love too...we don't want to look like the "other" Brady Bunch kids. I'm quite peeved I must say...Lane Bryant is discontinuing my FAVORITE jeans. This is like throwing me two big ol' birdies and telling me to suck it! From what I hear they are "re-branding" the line and going back to their original size chart and more "slimmer" fits. Now, I don't know if Lane Bryant, THE plus size powerhouse of clothing for the large and in charge know this, but most women who have junk in the trunk and treasure in the chest don't necessarily want to have to feel like they are wearing wearable bondage. I'm not a "slim" jean type of gal...because if it ain't gettin' over Mt. Everest then it ain't for the rest of us.



HI HO HI HO IT'S OFF TO THE GROCERY STORE WE GO

Why are people always in a hurry at the grocery store? And what the heck is up with Aldi charging people for a cart? I've never paid a quarter to get a cart to go grocery shopping. WTF is the purpose? This was my first experience at Aldi's and I'm not sure how I feel about it yet. While I felt their selection was pretty good for only having off brands, I'm not sure overall how I feel about my shopping experience. I'm still stuck on the quarter for a cart thing...do they really think I'm going to run down Mentor Ave with a grocery cart? I guess anything is possible, but you wouldn't see my sorry ass rollin' down the street with my grocery cart...unless of course I was dared to and there were margarita's involved.



Hungry Girl has been promoting the crap out of VitaTops. I'm eager to try these since they've been promoting them hard core over the past couple of weeks. I got the Deep Chocolate flavor ....get your mind out of the gutter...DON'T even think of going there because I just did...! From what I've read they only have 100 calories, high in fiber and contain 15 minerals, vitamins, soy and oat bran. I will let you know how this goes. Fiber and oat bran don't normally mix well but maybe the fact that it is masked by this Deep Chocolate flavor will help ;)


I was also saddened to see that all the Jell-o Temptations Mousse was sold out! Word must have spread fast or everyone saw my glowing review of this heavenly treat.


So apparently college's have spring break, and ours happened to be this week, which brings sweat to my forehead because I only get to do half my workout in the gym! UGH! Way to set me back LEC! Just when I'm hitting my stride you go and throw a spring break in there, and close the gym at 6 p.m. every day. Looks like I'm doing the 30 day shred extra this week to make up for an hour lost at the gym.


I'm officially four months away from a milestone birthday...the one...the only...the big...THREE-OH! I'm not sure how I feel about turning 30. Everyone is saying 30 is the new 20 and if that's the case then I'm in for a rude awakening! Any other 30 somethings or 30 somethings of yesteryear's have anything to say about this...words of wisdom? Thoughts to live by? Your expertise advice is needed...